Tips
Short clinical tips for each sense and each activity, written to sit alongside what your child discovers.
Written by Dr Susan Ozer, Consultant Neurodevelopmental Paediatrician.
Each tip explains why something may feel hard, then one practical thing to try. Nothing here asks a child to tolerate more than they want to; noticing is the goal.
Look
Why it can feel hard
Visual information arrives all at once. Busy backgrounds, flickering screens and bright lights can make it harder to pick out what matters, so a child may look away or cover their eyes.
What helps
Offer one picture at a time against a plain background, let them choose the distance, and keep the light soft. Looking away is a pause, not a refusal.
Listen
Why it can feel hard
Sound cannot be switched off by looking away. Unexpected or layered noise takes extra processing, and a child may hear the fridge, the clock and the conversation all at the same volume.
What helps
Preview what makes a sound before it plays, keep volume low and let the child stop it. Ear defenders before a noisy place work better than after.
Touch
Why it can feel hard
Skin is the largest sensory organ, so clothing, seams, tags and being touched all count as input. Some children notice every texture; others notice very little.
What helps
Offer touch with one finger first, always with a way to say no. Soft, smooth and familiar textures are easier than wet, sticky or unexpected ones.
Sniff
Why it can feel hard
Smell is linked directly to memory and to the body's alarm system, so a familiar smell can settle a child quickly and an unexpected one can feel like a threat.
What helps
Let the child choose the distance and sniff the lid rather than the contents. A familiar scent on a scarf can make an unfamiliar place feel safer.
Taste
Why it can feel hard
Taste comes with texture, temperature and smell, so a food can be hard for several reasons at once. Trying a food is not the same skill as being near it.
What helps
Allow looking, touching and smelling before any tasting. Keep a safe food on the plate, and treat each small step as the whole goal.
Move
Why it can feel hard
The body uses movement to know where it is. Some children seek movement to feel steady, while others find it unsettling, especially when it is fast or unexpected.
What helps
Offer slow, predictable movement with a clear finish, and let the child choose the pace. Heavy work, like pushing or carrying, often settles the body quickly.
Push and Pull
Why it can feel hard
Muscles and joints send constant messages about where the body is. When those messages are quiet or noisy, a child may press, lean, bump or avoid being moved.
What helps
Try gentle pushing against a wall, carrying something with two hands, or slow stretches. Ten seconds at a time is plenty, and stop while it still feels good.
Body Signals
Why it can feel hard
Noticing hunger, tiredness, heat or a fast heartbeat is a skill that develops at different rates. A child may only notice a signal when it is already very strong.
What helps
Check in at calm moments, not only hard ones. Naming what you notice in yourself gives them words to borrow, and a regular pause makes the signal easier to spot.
Body Signals activities
One tip for each of the 4 published activities in this sense.
A fluttery tummy
Noticing a signal without trying to change it is the skill. Offer the long, slow breath as an option rather than an instruction, and let your child say no.
A tight jaw
Jaw and shoulder tension often goes unnoticed until it aches. Unclenching without being told to relax keeps the child in charge of their own body.
Heavy arms
Heavy arms and legs are common after a busy day or before tears. Naming the heaviness as information, not as tiredness or laziness, keeps the language kind.
Wriggly legs
Wriggly legs are a signal for movement, not misbehaviour. Pressing feet into the floor gives strong feedback that is quiet and easy to do in a classroom.
Move activities
One tip for each of the 4 published activities in this sense.
Reach up and float down
Slow vestibular input settles more often than it excites. Keep the pace unhurried, count to three together, and stop at the first sign of dizziness.
Marching on the spot
Marching is rhythmic and easy to join in with. It works well before a transition such as getting shoes on, and needs no space.
Rocking side to side
Side-to-side rocking is calming and can be done sitting down. Sitting on the floor with your back supported is a good lower-energy version.
Bend down and stand tall
A slow bend and stand works the bigger muscles and can help a child feel grounded. Keep it to a few repeats and never rush the standing up.
Taste activities
One tip for each of the 4 published activities in this sense.
A slice of apple
Check allergies before any tasting step. Offer a thin slice, seated and supervised, and let a speck be the whole activity if that is all your child is ready for. Looking always counts.
A piece of banana
Banana is soft and predictable in texture, which often makes it an easier first taste. A speck on the lip counts the same as a whole mouthful.
A plain cracker
A plain cracker is dry and crunchy, a useful step for children who find soft or wet textures hard. Have water nearby and let them decide when to stop.
A piece of cucumber
Cucumber is cool and wet, a good next step after dry foods. Cut into thin sticks, seat your child, and keep the whole activity to one taste if that is what they choose.
Push and Pull activities
One tip for each of the 4 published activities in this sense.
Pushing a wall
A wall push gives strong, predictable feedback through the arms and is easy to stop. Count three seconds together, then let the arms drop.
Squeezing a cushion
Squeezing a cushion is easy to dose: the child decides how hard and how long, and can drop it instantly. Offer it before a demanding task rather than after a meltdown.
Pressing palms together
Pressing palms together needs no equipment, so it works in a classroom or a queue. It is also easy to disguise as a quick stretch.
Pulling a towel with a grown-up
Pull only against something you are holding, never furniture that could tip. Keep the pull slow so the child stays in control of how much they give.
Sniff activities
One tip for each of the 4 published activities in this sense.
A lemon
Citrus is a strong smell. Offer it at arm's length and let the child put it down whenever they want.
Fresh cut grass
This scent travels, so noticing it from a distance is the whole activity. There is no need to lean in.
A bar of soap
An easy, low-risk scent to begin with. Keep it at arm's length: sniffing soap up close quickly becomes overwhelming.
Warm toast
Warm food smells travel, so no leaning in is needed. Smelling is the whole activity; eating is separate.
Touch activities
One tip for each of the 4 published activities in this sense.
Water on your hands
Water is a low-commitment texture: it moves away the moment the hand lifts, which makes it a good first touch.
A smooth stone
A stone keeps its temperature, so it can feel surprisingly cool. Offer it open-handed rather than placing it into a child's palm.
A brush with bristles
The back of the hand is easier to start with than the palm, and the child can stop after a single stroke.
Fabric you can see
Looking at texture is the first step: touching is always optional and always the child's choice.
Listen activities
One tip for each of the 23 published activities in this sense.
A hand dryer
Nothing plays on its own. Your child presses play and can stop at any time.
A hoover
Nothing plays on its own. Your child presses play and can stop at any time.
A blender
Nothing plays on its own. Your child presses play and can stop at any time.
The school bell
Nothing plays on its own. Your child presses play and can stop at any time.
A crowd in a shop
Nothing plays on its own. Your child presses play and can stop at any time.
A baby crying
Nothing plays on its own. Your child presses play and can stop at any time.
A dog barking
Nothing plays on its own. Your child presses play and can stop at any time.
A fire alarm
Locked until you unlock it and your child has finished the first three steps of two gentler sounds.
Fireworks
Locked until you unlock it and your child has finished the first three steps of two gentler sounds.
A siren
Locked until you unlock it and your child has finished the first three steps of two gentler sounds.
Rain
A calm sound your child can add to their Calm Kit as their safe sound.
Waves
A calm sound your child can add to their Calm Kit as their safe sound.
White noise
A calm sound your child can add to their Calm Kit as their safe sound.
Soft music
A calm sound your child can add to their Calm Kit as their safe sound.
Rain on a window
Guess the Sound has no timer and no losing: every guess is a good guess.
A kettle boiling
Guess the Sound has no timer and no losing: every guess is a good guess.
A cat purring
Guess the Sound has no timer and no losing: every guess is a good guess.
A clock ticking
Guess the Sound has no timer and no losing: every guess is a good guess.
Waves on a beach
Guess the Sound has no timer and no losing: every guess is a good guess.
A tap running
Sensory note: running water is steady and predictable. It is a kind second sound because the pattern never changes. The child starts and stops it, always.
A washing machine
Sensory note: a repeating mechanical hum. Useful for sounds that happen through walls. Offer it while something enjoyable is already happening.
Rain on a window
Sensory note: rain is steady and predictable, which makes it a useful first background sound. Offer it alongside something the child already enjoys, never as a task. The child starts and stops it, always.
A kettle boiling
Clinical note: the loud or sudden item. It stays locked until a grown-up unlocks it and the child has finished the first three steps of two gentler sounds. Offer it from another room first; the aim is familiarity, not tolerance.
Look activities
One tip for each of the 16 published activities in this sense.
Labels and tags
Cutting a label out is a sensory fix, not a defeat. Let them choose the scissors and cut it together.
Seams
Seams are often the thing, not the fabric. Turning seams outward can help more than changing the whole wardrobe.
Socks
Sock seams and damp feet are common triggers. Offer two pairs to choose from rather than handing one over.
New shoes
New shoes are stiff for everyone. Short wears indoors, with the child choosing when to stop, work better than one long first day.
School uniform
Fewer fastenings means fewer decisions. Let them change one part of the uniform if it feels wrong.
Coats
Coat battles are usually about temperature and control. Hold the coat open so they can back into it and keep the last word.
Hats
Head touch can feel intense. A hat they chose themselves, worn for a countdown they set, builds more than insisting.
Haircut
Show the tool before it touches them, and let them hold it. A haircut in short visits, with breaks, is still a haircut.
Hair brushing
Start brushing away from the head, on hands and arms, and let them say when to stop. Less hair, brushed gently, still counts.
Toothbrushing
Taste, texture and gagging all meet in the mouth. Brushing one part of the mouth well beats a full brush they hate.
Nail cutting
Nails soften after a bath. Doing one nail and stopping is a complete job, and consent can be checked each time.
Shower
Spray and temperature matter more than the shower itself. A handheld head, their chosen temperature and a predictable order help.
Bath
Let them choose the water level, the temperature and how long. Getting out is a step too, so warn before it happens.
A shell on the sand
Some children like to count the ridges. Others prefer to just glance. Both are exploring — there is no target.
Ripples on water
Slow, repeating patterns can be settling. If your child wants to watch this several times, that is a good sign, not a problem.
A leaf up close
Let your child look for as long as they like. Describing it together is enough — there is nothing to touch or pick up.
Exploring is the win
Rewards are for looking, listening and noticing — never for touching, wearing or putting up with something.
The child sets the pace
Every activity has a visible Stop button and a way back a step. Stopping early is a complete session.
Describe, don't judge
Sensory differences are differences, not problems to fix. “That felt like a lot to you” does more than “it wasn't that loud”.
Build the calm kit on a good day
A kit made together at a calm moment is easier to reach for at a hard one.